Wednesday, December 20, 2006

The Bats Have Left The Bell Tower

Right, so clearly, not many posts of late. And despite the whole 'never say never' element of my personality, I support the right to die. Officially. So, bang. If, Constant Reader*, you are the root cause type, the point of this exercise was to help my 'real' work by writing something every day (perma-IMing doesn't count). And yay! Because it did. So my focus is back on trying to finish and successfully hawk various horror screenplays. Spooky spooky, I know. Anyway, my darling deviants, I sincerely thank those of you who read and or enjoyed the site. I guess I'll got out on a potentially self promoting note and encourage anyone interested in being notified of upcoming projects I'm involved in to send an email to: maisiechainsaw at or via aim: maisiechainsaw

So yeah. Kiss kiss, etc.

(*herby SK reference, Holla!)

Saturday, December 02, 2006

'Behind The Mask' Update

Speaking of the festival circuit, last years splatter sensation 'Behind The Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon' will get theatrical distribution in January 2007. Darling of the genre Festival scene, a full review can be found here. The triumphant return of Zelda Rubinstein! Read it and weep. The above image is the new poster, go to B-Dizzy for lots of stills.

Sundance Gets Some Bite

Indie horror flick 'Teeth' will be screened at this year's Sundance Film Festival. It's a coming of age story about a girl dealing with being the living embodiment of 'Vagina Dentata'. The choppers in the chocha storyline didn't go over well with the local community in Austin Texas when during filming last year, leading residents to complain the to Texas Film Commission, who had partially funded it. The complaints were dismissed and the controversial picture will hit the festival circuit this winter. 'Teeth' stars Nip/Tucks John Hensley and newcomer Jess Weixler.
Official Site
(Via Bloody Disgusting)

Friday, December 01, 2006

Thursday, November 30, 2006

This Is Not A Cool Beef

Homoerotic rapper Curtis '50 Cent' Jackson is a terrible role model for today's youth not only because his lyrics espouse violence and denigrate women, but also because he picks the lamest people to feud with. Expect a diss track about 'The Wiggles' on his next album.
50 V. Oprah (Page Six, 3rd Item)

You Can't Go Back Again

Neo-soul sensation Amy Winehouse, with the voice of an angel and the face of a desiccated snack cake, exemplifies my personal fears about attending my impending 10 year high school reunion:

Eva Simpson & Caroline Hedley
SHE was famously expelled from her first stage school for her difficult behaviour.
And on a trip to her second one, Amy Winehouse gave a lesson in just how obnoxious she can be.The 23-year-old jazz babe, who is known to enjoy a liquid breakfast, arrived unsteady on her feet at the BRIT School for Performing Arts and Technology in Croydon, Surrey.
Then in a diva strop she refused to take part in filming for TV after a row with her boyfriend. She stormed off in tears from the school. Says our classroom insider: "It was chaos.
Some of the younger children were crying because they were so looking forward to seeing Amy perform.

"And the production staff just looked at each in disbelief, not knowing what too say.
"We tried to get her to change her mind, but she was having none of it and kept shouting 'no'." The BRIT school is one of the most prestigious in the UK and past students include Katie Melua and The Kooks.
One pupil told us: "We wish Katie had come instead for the filming because we wouldn't have got any diva-like behaviour from her.
"Amy was in such a state and just crying. She is an idol to many of us here because of what she's achieved so soon after leaving and we couldn't believe how she behaved."

The recording was for the show The Brits Are Coming, to be broadcast on ITV1 in the lead-up to next year's BRIT awards.
A spokesman for the singer was last night unavailable for comment.
Amy has form when it comes to being expelled. She was kicked out of London's Sylvia Young stage school aged 15. We revealed recently how she had a slanging match with her chef boyfriend Alex in a North London pub.It's not just Alex on the receiving end. Last week Amy was involved in a bust-up with a fan in Norwich. And she admitted punching another fan after a London gig.

Her bad behaviour is due mainly to her boozing. We revealed how she swigs champagne at breakfast and regularly enjoys a liquid lunch of vodka, whisky and liqueurs.


Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Danny Boy

I have never loved you more! Even if 'The View' is taped at like what, 10am?? and you are promoting a kids movie and the fumes coming off you almost warped my monitor, this clip kinda made my day. Especially when he sort of channels Oswald Cobblepot.

Oldie But a Goody (Sorry)

This story is at least a month old but I love it too much to let it go. If you haven't read it, enjoy. If you all ready know all about it try reading it the way I first did, thinking Jade punched her own grandmother! (P.S. UK peeps, why is everyone obsessed with 'bullying'?)

8 November 2006
BIG BROTHER star Jade Goody was involved in a brawl at a cinema when she went to see new horror flick Saw 3.
Jade, 25, has been accused of punching 51-year-old Brenda Sparks on the nose.
But friends of the star claim Jade had stepped into a row to protect a teenage girl who she thought was being bullied.
A brawl broke out at the Odeon Lee Valley cinema in Edmonton, North London, on Sunday night after two groups of people began a popcorn fight which descended into a mini riot.
Jade was at the cinema with boyfriend Jack Tweedy to see the controversial new horror movie, which has had film fans passing out.
However, she got caught up in the X-rated action of the punch up.
Grandmother Brenda Sparks, whose nose was split open during the fracas, claimed Jade hit her twice in the face. She said: "I used to like her from the telly but now I think she's a piggy-faced thug."
Boyfriend Jack, however, said Jade was the "goodie" in the incident. He said: Jade was amazing. She was defending a girl who was being picked on and was totally fearless."

"Darling, you can't rape a townie"

I have a strong suspicion my favorite line will be excised from the upcoming remake of 'Black Christmas'. Please, do you yourself a favor and go watch it. It's scary and thrilling and funny and bitchy and has a pre-crazy Margot Kidder. I get the feeling that the remake only has Buffy's kid sister and a PG-13 rating. Annnnyways, crap version of teaser trailer is below, beaucoup de stills and longer Int'l trailer at Bloody-Disgusting. Check it

Spooky Baby, Spooky!

Not enough pulp in your juice this morning? If your idea of 'wet work' is equal parts Russ Meyer and Dario Argento then you will love Curt's 'Groovy Age of Horror'. Dedicated to the campiest, sleaziest, and spookiest book and comic cover-art from the 60's & 70's. In addition to English language works, there is an exhaustive listing of Fumetti, smutty Italian comics that often have horror or fantasy themes. Having grown up long after the gold age of EC horror comics, stuff like this fascinates me. You can peep it out here: Groovy Age of Horror.

Monday, October 02, 2006


***UPDATE 10/20- Hey! Almost ready to relaunch, as you can see it's a more simplified format. Sadly, all the old comments were erased in the update (soo sux). I'm kind of devastated by the downgrade in cuteness but the old format was too buggy and this story is too boring to continue, soo peace!

Friday, September 29, 2006

Sick Pick of The Week

Who: John Carpenter (b. 1948) Why: The Thing might just be a perfect film. Because I went as Laurie Strode for Halloween. Because his 'Master's of Horror' episode reminds you there's still a man behind the brand.
See Also: IMDB

Slash From The Past

One of the last great slasher films of the 1980's is Scott Spiegel's 'Intruder' (1989). Spiegel is an OG from the original Evil Dead crew and is now (alongside Eli Roth) running Raw Nerve Films. Shot on a microbudget, Spiegel shows (just like the ED films) that good horror isn't determined by dollar signs. KNB handles the FX, which for what they are (meaning 80's latex), totally rock. This is the kind of film that clearly follows the 'rules' of the slasher genre; madman vs. nighttime supermarket staff, locked in and isolated and surrounded by sharp objects... hilarity ensues. But there is more here then camp. Great camera work, an excellent variety of scares, and a phenomenal (for horror herbs like me) ensemble. Sam & Ted Raimi, Bruce Campbell, Renee Estevez, Dan Hicks, Lawrence Bender... All the Michigan Mafia. there is some really fun dialogue, including a speech recycled from 'Raising Arizona' (the Coen brothers are pals).

The Devil's Rejects

Taking The Fast Track To a Body Cavity Search BoingBoing
Not The Only Gay in Santa's Village Mirror
Nicky Hilton Being Funny (End of First Item) Page Six
Everybody Loves 'Ugly Betty' AICN
The Texas Chainsaw Videogame? Bloody Disgusting

Crispin Glover! Alt Porn! Herschel Gordon Lewis!

What could these things possibly have in common (other then my personal DVD collection)? Open Sky Film's remake of HGL's 'The Wizard of Gore' starring Crispin Glover, Jeffrey Combs, Brad Dourif, Bijou Philips, and a handful of Suicide Girls. Though I prefer the similarly themed (yet vastly superior) 'Blood sucking Freaks', I have great affection for any old skool HGL gruetastic campfest. More info & lots of pictures here

Monday, September 25, 2006

Rosemary's Realtor

I think I have read this article 7 times. And to think I started off the day under the assumption that Clinton's verbal spanking of that Foxbot was the best story of the day. Oh me of little faith, actual Satanists always trump figurative ones!


Mending M'Duke

The Marmaduke Project has a noble cause, making Marmaduke comics suck less. Check it out here: Link

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Dexter's Laboratory

Michael C. Hall's follow up to 'Six Feet Under' is Showtime's adaptation of Jeff Lindsay's novel 'Darkly Dreaming Dexter'.The production values are high and the actor's ensemble respectable. In addition to Hall, Julie Benz and James Remar turn in intriguingly complex performances in the pilot episode (available via link here, the passcode is 'sneak peek'). The show is uneven, good where it could be great, often sloppy where it should be sleek. Just for the record I had the same problem with the book, but in both cases, despite my critiques I enjoyed the experience.

So Dexter, nice guy, forensic blood spatter expert working for the Miami PD. Oh, and he's also a sociopathic serial killer. But there's a catch, he only kills bad people. Dexter has to navigate between these two worlds, he maintains 'normal' relationships both professional and personal but his only love is murder. When a serial killer whose style out paces Dexter's goes to work in Miami Dexter has to balance his fascination and attraction to the case with his duty to support the investigation. Additionally his foster sister (played by 'Emily Rose' herself, Jennifer Carpenter) is a vice cop trying to make the leap to homicide by solving the case and is relying on Dexter's preternatural insight to get her there.

So here are the problems, the commitment to the concept is totally inconsistent. This is a brilliant idea and clearly, in order to make this show, you understand that you are going to have to transgress social and literary conventions in order to convey both the black comedy and the true horror of the story. The daytime world of the police is portrayed as wrongheaded, clumsy and chaotic, in contrast to our hero's logical reserve. Fine, cool, but the strokes are so broad, these scenes play like foulmouthed Keystone cops. Without giving away too much, I found the murders, the coke head crimescene, and the crab smashing scenes all had the potential for both humor and pathos that just got discarded. It's so weird, because there are visual echoes to films that should have pointed the director in the right direction. How are you going to reference Henry Portrait of a Serial Killer, Taxi Driver, Frailty American Psycho, even Katiebird, (I could go on but think I've proven my nerdy point) and yet not seem to 'get' it. Kinda makes it feel less like referential homage and more like biteage of style.

As previously stated, despite my smack talk I did like this show. However, there is a sloppy subplot that made me go crazy(er). One of Dexter's 'victims is a murderous rapist. Dexter breaks into his home to find evidence to support his hunch, fine. Dexter is pointed in the right direction by the discovery of a bondage magazine. CALLED 'BONDAGE MAGAZINE.' I would have fired the entire art department! However, it's really more a symbol of the instances where the director has no faith in the intelligence of his audience. Inside the magazine is an ad for 'the Internets most extreme site' called 'Scream Bitch Scream'. Dexter logs on and finds his victim starring in a real rape/snuff film. Just like that. I understand the necessity of a conveniently placed literary device but, I mean come on now. I come to your party and you do me like that? For shame.

The good news is Michael C. Hall is great as Dexter, absolutely breaking away from his SFU character. Displaying pathos tinged subtlety and wit, Hall really inhabits each of Dexter's various personas. I hope the show will support his performance.

Friday, September 22, 2006

New Couple?

The 3am girls think so, reporting today that Calum Best & Kimberly Stewart were seen swapping diseases at a Fashion Week party in London. I know some of you think CB is fit but all I see is Jude Law's gayporn-a-like.


FINALLY, Kimberly Stewart and Calum Best have confirmed what we've suspected for aaages - they're an item.

Kim, 27, and Cal, 25, hit the MAC/Zhandra Rhodes party in London's Silver Club on Wednesday night and couldn't keep their hands off each other.

We're told: "They were inseparable and sat snogging all night."

Very nice. But given the track records of Rod and George, their womanising fathers, we give this about a week... Source